Even this trailer is now impossible for me to watch through without having a tear come up in the corner of my eye. I hope there will be lots and lots of films that can reach the level of this one, in the future. This is what people need to see. They need to see that there is still honesty and pure emotions under all those Michelinman clothes.

I need to see this.

I moved and am staying temporarily in a friends room before her roomie is moving out this weekend. I can’t wait to have a room to decorate! I can’t wait to have my things backed out of the backpack and that one box.

However, I stopped by the copy something I found written on a sheet of paper, lying on Eeva’s table. A quote.

“The European man experiences himself as a slave of time. He depends of it, is liable to it. To exist and to function, he needs to obey its mettlesome, unbroken laws, its stiff principles and rules. He has to follow deadlines, dates, days and hours.

He moves in the order created by time, without it he cannot exist.  Time imposes its strict rules, demands and norms. There is a irreconcilable contradiction between man and time which always ends in the defeat of the man: time destroys man.

Time appears as the result of man taking action and dissapears when man stops operating or does not take action in the first place. It is materia, which recreates whenever man works but falls in hibernation or even stops existing if man does not give it his energy. Time is passive and above all depeding on man.”

Ryszard Kapuscinski

Mom and I went to Stockholm for a few days to spend the rest of our money. Worked out well. I don’t have to use any money in the next month nor do I have to shop for clothes in the next 6 months. Bring it on Winter, I’m waiting.

Running

Running embodies the impatient need to reach to a solution. Dreams about running can symbolise attitude towards the society in general. They can also tell about the desire to please others or run away in their company, depends if you are running towards or away from them.

(Source: Jack Altman – 1001 Dreams)

Last night I saw a dream about several people in my life. First they stole something from me and then when I realised it they were either far away or running from me. Usually I was sitting somewhere distracted by other things – talking to someone else or eating. They were always someone who was really important to me at some point. A teacher in complusory school, a guy who reminded me of an ex, a kid I used to babysit and a friend who’s still friends with a nemesis of my emotional life.

The description of running in the little book of dream interpretation went all the way to the point.

What’s on your mind – the ordeals guide you

– When a person falls asleep, they shut their eyes, ears and loose the ability to analyse things abreast. The inner physical world takes a hold of them. Freud underlines the sexual dimension correctly in my opinion, because it is where the deepest humanity is present, affinity to get closer to one another.

Everyone’s own inner world reforms of the life already lived. Everyone’s special features have grounded their base on the experiences and especially on ordeals. Ordeals are more than experiences because they are the unfamiliarity in one’s self. After illnesses and crises, ordeals are where the problems in meeting another person lie. It is where the signs of another great otherness, the touch of the unfamiliar, are. In those situations, one doesn’t survive with their own virtue.

As well as in those moments a person understands the significance of the other and realises the place of the uncontrollable things in their life. The being of another independent person is the greatest challenge in life. – In ordeals the secret and unfamiliar touches life.

(Source: Olavi Moilanen / Unientulkinta.fi – freely translated by me)

Running embodies the impatient need to reach to a solution. I have been pondering on my future for a while now. Doing reasonable, unreasonable, quick and slow decisions. Sometimes I wonder what exactly are reasonable decisions. You can’t know in the moment, can you? And noone can tell you what’s the right one.

I made a really quick one last spring, moved and started working. The work turned out to be lovely and made my summer one of the most memorable ones. Doors opening and so on, but now the trees are turning to colors and doors are closing again. It’s time for something new, but I don’t know what the new is. Yet so many people around me seem to have an idea. Here’s something I read from a general horoscope of Taurus: “They make their best achievements when they have an incentive which doesn’t fight against themselves. This is, if the sign of Taurus is not strong enough to make them completely independent.” I’ll finish that with – TOUCHÉ! All the expectations and advice is paralysing me and making my ears deaf to what it is that I want to do next. It isn’t this deadly serious, is it?

Dreams about running can symbolise attitude towards the society in general. I have a friend with whom I have a shared hobby of dissing the society. These days it really seems that everything is a bit crooked. When you find yourself in one of those stages (of life) that are not ideal for the society, you (may) start to feel the system completely different.

Officially I have been unemployed for all the year 2010. Even during the internship I got only a wee bit raised aid for the unemployed. I feel bad for mocking the system, as there are many unemployed in the world struggling with no aids like this. But no system is flawless. There have been several situations where for me it was easier to simply stay unemployed than take a project and get a little more money. Don’t even get me started on the pressure you get from the people around – starting from the hairdresser. People are not interested in what you are struggling with anymore, how you feel. The only topic they can think of: what you should do to not be unemployed. For a young person like me it is paralysing. How can I defend myself in any way, when they pull out the “I’m older, I know better” card. I have nothing else but what I feel. And what I don’t understand here is why it counts so little.

It isn’t the journey that kills, it’s the speed.
(Jukka Poika and Kompostikopla)

Here is also where nature has taken a bigger stand. The speed is nauseating. I envy the Canarian men who were living in the beach 2 hours walk away from civilisation. If I would have a little more knowledge on survival and courage – or maybe just someone to cover the things I don’t know about – like building, I would go and try it out.

They can also tell about the desire to please others or run away in their company, depends if you are running towards or away from them. I know I’m very sudden in my moves. I have moved several times in the last five years. I know it’s a burden for some around me. Yet I’m planning to live a lot more of those ordeals through.

The mistake has been that I’ve sworn on not going somewhere or doing something. I should be old enough to not say something won’t happen twice – because the irony of the world is – it might and even would happen twice. Yet, I’m hoping that I’ll learn the lessons I’ve been set out to learn, in time. After all, I’m not suicidal or any other way very fond of death. I’m just terribly fascinated by the world and overwhelmed by all the opportunities. Even so overwhelmed that I don’t want to choose, I’ll rather see what comes ahead and make the decisions based on what I know. Not what I’m told.

So I would quote a friend’s skype status here (as lame as it sounds): Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

I met up with so many old friends I haven’t seen in ages/some time.

Jasu was working in Tapiola where the film festival was held and just after agreeing to meet the same night, we bump into each other in the village. Later when we met up in a lovely little Cuban bar and went on to Pacifico where Anna was hanging out with some of her friends. There I bumped into Kimi. He’s a schoomates boyfriend. I hosted them both for a few nights in Barcelona when I was living there a year back. Yet, I’ve met him once and he came upon like an old friend. But of course I don’t have pictures of them either.

My photographical focus is starting to be similar to my real life focusing skills. Whenever something is actually important or photogenic, I leave it. Yet, I realised how many great friends I have in that direction. And actually the best bits and pieces. Leaving was a good choice in the spring – and I even swore I wouldn’t go back. I still say Helsinki is not my favourite place to stay but now I find myself longing for so many things there. So as the saying in finnish goes, better not to swear on anything. (I guess that goes with cursing as well ;)

Now after not knowing how to dress right for the weather, and swaying me hips a bit too much in the festival, my back is sore as well as the throat and nose is running like crazy. What a great pair of body parts I have here. So I’ll just have you with the usual party pictures:

Monday. Molly Malones. Pyry.

Thursday. Stadin tähti. Turre & Anna. (Note the half naked girl in the background, that’s the Finnish TV’s version of tv chats/games at 3-4am.)

Friday. Night of the Arts. Antti, Suvi and Lotta. After watching at the art for a bit, we decided to spend an hour riding the metro back and forth.

Pitää olla jotain, mitä keinuttaa-a-a / Rytmi ja sanani on valtaa / Kiikuttaa, mitä löytyy jokasen alta
Saturday. Helsinki Reggae Festival. Jukka Poika.

“Have you become somekind of a valley girl since you can’t go to sledge?”
“There’s nothing embarrassing about that!”
“Think about it when you’re an adult, you can’t go sledge ever anymore!”

(Source)

Konono nro 1 (or two?)

Missing In Act(i)on

Esta semana ha pasado una reúnion de mi clase de colegio. Hemos estado casi todos allí – todos menos cinco. Nuestro profesor (a la izquierda en la foto debajo) ha traído unas botellas de fresita y el resto es historia.

En esta foto estámos casi todos (más tarde sólo algunas personas más): El profesor, Matias, Tumppi, Heidi, Janne, Viivi, Joana, Niina, Sini-Maria, Heidi, Annika, me, Tiina y  se arrodillaron al frente Jane y Laura. Y sí, hemos estado casi sólo mujeres por qué estábamos en una clase de música – y en aquellos tiempos era una cosa más feminina ;) Pienso que en total están todos los hombres.

Antes de marcharme, uno de los hombres decía que él me envidia por todas las cosas que he hecho – y cuanto le gusta esto por qué “te vas a las partes y si no te gusta Italia, te vas en España”. La gente parece tener la impresión de que he viajado todo el mundo – al meno dos veces. Me siento como que he hecho tantas cosas en mi vida pero no pienso que he hecho tanto – o bastante – al meno no cuanto quiero hacer. De alguna manera me he sentido bien porque ellos han reconocido algo que es muy importante para mí.

Las organizadoras organizaron un juego. La gente tenia que votar quién era el nerd de la clase o el playaso etc. Recibí el “premio” por ser la más creativa y la soñadora.

Reconozco eso, siempre he sido una soñadora. Ya tengo planes nuevos para el futuro pero los planes cambian de vez en cuando. Además no sé dónde pertenezco. Tal vez a ninguna parte – entonces vago como una rebaña. Pero eso no viene al caso. El punto es que la fiesta estaba maravilliosa. Muy humana para ser una reúnion así.

PD. Ayer me compré un billeto para Helsinki Reggae Festival!

(Here just part of the hangover crew)

I was a festival trooper for a week. Just took of my jeans for the first time in 5 days and peeled off some skin along it ;) No details will be revealed here.. promise!

N.E.R.D.’s gig started awesome(ly). Usually there’s 30 minutes time for the bands to have the final soundcheck. Other band’s groupies do it right after the last gig ended and leave early before the show begins. N.E.R.D.s guitarist, drummers etc came on the stage straight after Sharon Jones and staid there making the front road scream every now and then with a strong drum beat or a guitar solo. The 30 minutes just flew past. And then – suddenly – Pharrell and Chad just jump on stage after one of those screaming drum beats.

They were looking intensely over the crowd like examing their audience – and I guess we passed the test, after a song Pharrell chuckled on his mic ;)

And then even greater of a thing. They took a Finnish, internationally unknown, beatboxer Felix Zenger on stage! How cool is that. The gig was AMAZING! Gun powder!

(Same from the other side and another one from the crowd further away )

Noone Ever Really Dies.

Massive Attack and the population number of Greece today (Saturday 24th July 2010).

Quote from Helsingin Sanomat: “On the European tours the country, the language andthe social situation of the gig place change fast. The band does their homework on every country with a respectable devotion.
– Everytime we go to a new country or even a new city, we familiarize with the local news. We try to get someone to translate them for us. We use the local students as help. They clarify which news are relevant.” (Source: Bristolin saarnamiehet / HS)

I have no words for the gig. Speechlees. Beautiful. If music can swallow you, make you crazy and put you in trance at the same time – this is it! This is THE DRUG!

Both of the gigs are well analysed here.

“If Mary dropped my baby girl tonight I would name her Rock’N'Roll” The Roots @ LP45!

Thank you Eeva for being the best possible festival company, Timo for the place to stay/surf, Ikki for getting us in LP45! for after party, Ilona for being so chipper even though the sore throat, Riikka for the great chat in the car, Anu for light and A BIG ONE to Heini and Pasi for the tickets! See you next year! :)